You sir, are a philistine!

Ah, Sunday morning. I read the funnies and opened The Parade, a delightful weekend magazine which comes with The Denver Post. The first page is Personality Parade, a section devoted to painfully dumb questions on celebrities. This innocent enough looking page has never rankled me before today.

After insinuating that the Olson twins are little sluts, informing America that Darrel Hammond is the longest-running member of SNL, and giving Condoleezza Rice "a gentlewoman's C" for a grade, Walter Scott answered a question regarding nude scenes.

The question asked why so many good actresses are in nude scenes. Scott said there are two reasons: Because of the paycheck, or because they like being naked on camera. He paints a fairly bleak picture, and implies that only high-budget films have nudity, and there is no such thing as tasteful nudity. Au Contraire, buster! *pushes glasses higher on nose, straightens papers*

First of all, most nude scenes I have seen were in independent films where the actors worked for peanuts. Secondly, many movies have nude scenes which are no fun, and were probably not a stroll in the park for the actors. However, they are still tasteful. Example: The critically acclaimed Mysterious Skin. It is based on a true story and follows two boys who were sexually abused. It was not romanticized or flashy, but it was very explicit. In my humble opinion that's the only way you could have told the story, and it should be told. One's not enough for you? Try watching Adaptation, Little Children, Mean Streets, Do the Right Thing, and Leaving Las Vegas and tell me they're trash. (For the record they are not.)

I would suggest this Walter Scott character open his mind a little, and start acknowledging even art with mankind's "icky parts" can be true, tactful, and moving. Either that or take it up with Michelangelo.

There's this big, black tower, right?...

I just watched two movies with totally kick-ass soundtracks. Transamerica and Pulp Fiction (no, I hadn't seen it yet).
Transamerica has the GOOD kind of country music, older and a little folksier. (Stay away, Tim McGraw!) I already ordered the CD from Amazon. It was also a really good movie, I especially appreciated the "Lord of the Rings is gay" bit, even though all Toby's examples were weak and irrelevant .
I haven't ordered the Pulp Fiction soundtrack yet. (Santa? are you reading?) And I feel like the BIGGEST IDIOT EVER. Also very very young. See- I didn't know that Pump It by Black Eyed Peas wasn't...original. Yup, I'm sooooo music savvy.


I'm also really excited about the DVD release of This Film Is Not Yet Rated (btw, it has been rated. It's NC-17) and Jesus Camp. I don't usually get too worked up about documentaries, but how ones on the MPAA and and Christianity not be exciting?

Now I just need to see The Ice Man Cometh

It snowed last night, and that set me in mind of movies set in winter. This summer I watched The Ice Storm and The Ice Harvest (in 90 degree weather, of course). I didn't like either, but they both have their merits.
The Ice Harvest is set in December, and it is a pretty silly Christmas movie. There are strip clubs, alcoholics, and people stuffed in trunks. If you're in to that sort of thing, you might like it, but don't look for anything deep.

Ice Storm is directed by Ang Lee, and reminds me of American Beauty, but it isn't as over-the-top. Which, unfortunately was my favorite part of American Beauty. Same broken marriages and sexually adventurous teenagers, but without the jokes. I thought it was just too serious. (The beginning reminded me of Wonder Boys. Toby Maguire and Katie Holms are in college together.)


And some off-topic news:
I made a college of little tiny movie posters and put it on my binder to display for my classmates. The most anyone had seen was three. (And I had forty pictures) Curse you, parents who don't allow R rated movies!!

Virgins get last laugh

Completely shut out from the Oscars, The 40-year-old Virgin and Wedding Crashers lead the MTV movie awards with 5 nominations each. I haven't seen either of them, so I'm forced to have no opinion. And even worse, I don't have a clue who's going to win! Here are the Best Picture nominees:

Batman Begins
The 40-year-old Virgin
Sin City
The Wedding Crashers
King Kong

Since the general public gets to vote, I would assume the movie that did best at the box office would win. Star Wars Episode III made the most in 2005, and King Kong, followed by Wedding Crashers made the most of the nominees.

For the first time, the acting nominees aren't separated by gender.

Best Performance:

Steve Carrel The 40-year-old Virgin
Jake Gyllenhaal Brokeback Mountain
Terrance Howard Hustle and Flow
Rachel McAdams Red Eye
Joaquin Phoenix Walk The Line
Reese Witherspoon Walk The Line

Best Comic Performance

Steve Carrel The 40-year-old-Virgin
Adam Sandler The Longest Yard
Owen Wilson Wedding Crashers
Vince Vaughn Wedding Crashers
Tyler Perry Maudea's Family Reunion

Oh, that REALLY breaks the gender barrier. Why, a whooping 20% of the nominees were women! (And Steve Carrel got in twice!)

*Perks head, sniffs wind* What's that? Do I smell Oscar nominees!?! Four! Count 'em, FOUR! Yes! Something I have SEEN!
*Clears throat* Well, in my opinion, I think...I think.......
I already went through this before! Alright, Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix already have Golden Globes (and one Oscar).....sooooo.....
I guess the question is, out of Jake Gyllenhaal and Terrance Howard, who would be less humiliated to get the MTV Movie Award?

As you might guess I don't put much stock in this. Which is silly really, because actual people get to vote, instead of snooty Academy members. Still I can't appreciate an audience that opens The Benchwarmers at no. 2 at the box office.

Alright, enough incoherent blabbering and bad sentences, on with the nominees!
The Best thing about the MTV awards is the creative categories.

Best Villain

Cillian Murphy Batman Begins
Tilda Swinton Chronicles of Narnia
Tobin Bell Saw II
Ralph Fiennes Harry Potter
Hayden Christensen Star Wars III

Best Kiss

Taraji P. Henson and Terrance Howard Hustle and Flow
Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger Brokeback Mountain
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Rosario Dawson and Clive Owen Sin City
Anna Faris and Chris Marquette Just Friends

Yay! I have seen all the villains except Tobin Bell!
And, *fond sigh* more Oscar nominees! Don't worry guys, being nominated for a Best Kiss MTV award is just as prestigious as winning an Academy Award.
Alright, alright, enough making fun of something I don't understand. I suppose somebody has to recognize Dukes Of Hazzard other then the Razzies.

Get the rest of the nominations here

Give us a kiss, love

It has become painfully clear to me that the Academy doesn't know squat about Best Pictures. (Gladiator?! Chicago!?!)
Here's who would win if I got to choose.

2000: WONDER BOYS
How could I pick anything else? It has my favorite quote, and it's about writers! Runners up would be Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Chocolat, Saving Grace, and Small Time Crooks. *sigh* It was a good year.

2001: AMELIE
I didn't see as many good movies this year, but that's not to say Amelie doesn't deserve it! I also liked Zoolander and Bridget Jones Diary. They might not be very serious, but they're damn funny! (Plus, I don't look so snobbish!)

2002: ADAPTATION
Voice over! Screenwriting twins! Orchid dealers! How could you not love this movie? Honorary mentions to The Two Towers, Spirited Away, and About a Boy.

2003: AMERICAN SPLENDOR
Why don't more movies have voice over? I can't get enough. I had a hard time choosing between this and The Station Agent, Bend it like Beckham, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

2004: SIDEWAYS
See a pattern emerging? Yes, I do like movies about writers. What's not to like about wine, golf, and horny friends? This is my current best-movie-in-the-history-of-the-universe. Of course, let's not forget Garden State, and Secret Window!

2005: HUSTLE AND FLOW
Notice complete absence of Crash or Brokeback Mountain. The votes in my brain split, and I've decided my loyalty lies with the pimps and hookers. (I think we all know what my second choices are.)

Looking at my list I establish the following: I watch too many indies. I watch too many R rated movies. I watch too many movies about writers.

I also ask the following questions: Where the hell is Paul Giamatti's Oscar? What exactly was so great about Million Dollar Baby? Has the Academy ever heard of this thing called a "comedy"?

Sheesh